Peanut, Peanut Butter--and Jelly

I've never had food poisoning. I hear from people who have that death couldn't be worse. Earlier this week there was a scare over Peter Pan Peanut Butter containing salmonella. A certain lot number was suspected. Sure enough after checking my pantry I found my jar of Peter Pan was of the tainted lot. My jar was also half empty (or half full-for you optimists). I threw it out anyway just to be safe. You think of peanut butter as a pretty safe food product in your stash of staples. It's not like milk or especially mayonnaise that careful attention has to be paid to expiration dates and refrigeration. Heck, does peanut butter even expire? How would you go about spoiling peanut butter if you wanted? How does a huge food manufacturer actually let quality control slip to a level that peanut butter is considered hazardous? Really makes you wonder about that warm guacamole dip you had at that Super Bowl party. Truth be told I'm pretty sensitive about my food. Taste, temperature, and texture (the three T's) all have to meet some sort of perceived expectation or it gets a trip down the disposal. Also, it can't smell funny. I know smell is a very subjective sense, but everybody knows "gamey". Am I right? So throw out that skank jar of PB and smear a little digestive disinfectant on your Wonder Bread. Order Up!